More Than A Memory-Ch3

Chapter 3:
It was around 5:00 when I finally looked up from my paperwork. I figured I would stay late to get most of the work I needed to catch up on to the side. I kicked off my decided to kick off my heels and sit on my floor sorting papers on the floor in front of me. I had 6 different piles of patient information sorted when I heard a faint knock on my door. “Come in, but open the door slowly” I said figuring it was Amy, or another doctor. My mouth went dry and I felt my heart in my throat when I saw him standing there.
“Hey” he said. I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say, and then I realized I was sitting on the floor like a child. I coughed, stood up and started picking up the piles of paper and placing them on top of a filing cabinet. I walked behind my desk and sat down, enjoying the nice space that my desk created between us. He took a step in and closed the door. “The uh, person at the main desk told me where your office was” he said sitting down. “Yeah” was all I managed to say. I took a deep breath. “So I saw you last night” he said. “I thought you recognized me” I said looking up at him, he looked nervous and even more gorgeous up close. “You know at first, I didn’t think it was really you. This might sound strange, but you have been in my thoughts so many times I thought you were just imaging things.” He avoided my gaze and then slowly looked back at me. “I didn’t think you would remember me” I whispered. There was an odd moment of silence and I decided to make polite conversation, hopefully to distract him from whatever he came here for. “So how are things?” I asked. “Their good. Last year I bought a nice apartment just outside of the city” he answered.
Memory—
“Sidney, check this out!” I called from my bedroom in my house. “I’m coming, I’m coming” he answered. He walked into the room holding two mugs of hot chocolate. He handed one to me and took the chair next to me. “What is that?” he asked pointing to the computer screen. “This” I said, “Is where you are going to buy us a nice little house while you are in Pittsburgh” I said. I took a sip of my hot chocolate while he looked at the information. “Yeah this is nice” he said, “But do you really think that I want to share a house with you? I mean come on, you have me make you hot chocolate and have me reach things that are too high for you to reach. Sometimes I have to help you lift heavy things and open jars that are stuck. That seems like a little much.” I gasped, in mock offence. We both laughed and he leaned in and kissed my forehead.
He stood up and went to lie on my bed. He switched on the TV and settled in. I turned back around and looked at the computer screen. I closed my eyes and imagined us living in that little house. It was perfect. I sighed. “I’m only 17” I thought. I finished up an email, signed out of everything and shut down the computer. I drank the last swig of my hot chocolate and looked at the clock. It was only a little after 10. I got up, shut off the light and headed towards my bed. Like he was trained or something, Sidney slid towards the edge of the bed as I climbed over him to the other side, with his eyes still fixed on the TV. I snuggled into him and enjoyed the way our bodies molded together perfectly. I enjoyed this almost nightly ritual, and like always I drifted off to sleep.
I was only wakened once. I felt him stir and get up off the bed. “Goodnight baby” he whispered. He bent down to brush my hair back and kiss my lips. I heard the door open and shut, and then I rolled closer to where he was laying. He had left his sweatshirt. I cuddled up to it and inhaled the familiar scent. With a content smile on my face, I fell back to sleep.
End—

“Peyton” he said a little louder than necessary. “Sorry. I was just-“ he cut me off. “Thinking. I know, you used to do that a lot.” A small smile crept its way across my face. “So how are you?” he asked. “Well busy” I said pointing to the stacks of paper around me. He looked to where I was pointing and his eyebrows rose. “Is this job everything you wanted?” he asked. He knew this is what I wanted to do since I was in middle school. “Yes, actually. I looked to a picture of the children I council on my desk and I smiled. “I help kids be kids. It is the best thing I can do” I said. I looked back at him, he was smiling. “I’m glad” he replied.
We talked for a few more minutes about small things, his team and stuff. We were talking like we used to back when we were together; we were laughing and just having a good time. He mentioned something about how our plans had changed from what we wanted them to be. Then his eyes grew sad. “Were you ever going to tell me you were here?” he asked quietly. I looked away from him, and out to the window. I looked at the beautiful skyline and shook my head. “No” I whispered. He looked down and his jaw clenched. “Why not?” he asked. “Sid. I don’t know” I paused to think, “I was just too busy to really think about you.” I was lying. Flat out lying. A day had never gone by that I didn’t think of him, or how my life could be different if I was with him. He noticed I was lying, he was good at that. “Can you tell me the real reason?” He put his hands on the edge of my desk and was running his thumb over the shiny wood.
I didn’t answer for a moment, “I was scared to” I whispered, “You hurt me. You, the person who I thought could never hurt me.” I closed my eyes tight. “I didn’t know what to do when you left, and I hadn’t heard from you” I said. “I called the day after I left, and the day after” he said. I looked up at him. I didn’t know what to say. I could feel hot tears coming to my eyes. I didn’t want him to see me like this. I needed to get out of here. I took my cell phone out of my pocket and pressed the buttons for my office phone. It rang and he jumped. I picked up and pretended like I was being called or something. Then I hung up. “You have to go, I have to leave” I said standing up. I got up to get the door for him and he put his hand on my shoulder. His touch felt like a drop of white hot metal. I shrugged him off and opened the door. “Pey, I just want to talk about this. Fix things” he said with pleading eyes. I shook my head and pushed him out. “I can’t. I can’t. I can’t” I repeated my words. “Goodbye” I said and shut the door. I heard him say something and then sigh angrily. I sank down on the floor and started to cry.
He had opened a wound that was never fully healed. I didn’t know what was happened with us. I didn’t know what he wanted. And I was scared that I would get hurt again.