Thursday, July 31, 2008

More Than A Memory-Ch6

Chapter 6:
I rushed out of work. I was kind of nervous, but excited at the same time. I didn't really know what I was getting myself into. When I got to the parking lot I realized that it was snowing. "Great. I bet the roads are going to suck" I said to myself getting into my SUV. "Thank god for 4 wheel drive" I said. Traffic wasn't actually that bad. I was surprised. There were a few people driving like idiots, but hey, that's America. I pulled into my garage and made sure that the snow shovel was in clear reach so I could shovel a pathway to the door. It was only a small dusting, but it was getting heavier by the minute. I turned up the heat when I got up to the kitchen and put my jacket over a chair at the island. I then went up to my room and changed into a pair of sweat pants and a sweat shirt. I pulled on a pair of thick wool socks too."Well he's seen me at my worst" I thought as I put my hair into a messy bun. I went back down to the kitchen and boiled water for a cup of tea while I set the table. He would be there in five minutes, and he was never late. He hated being late. I put on the news after lighting a few candles in the living room. I sat down and listened to the cute weather man talk about how this storm would be pretty heavy overnight, but by 4 in the morning it would come to a stop. I was nervous when I realized that he was running ten minutes late. I had to keep my mind off it, so I grabbed a basket of clean laundry from the basement and starting folding. I was in the middle of pairing socks when the doorbell rang. I took a deep breath and made my way down the stairs. I opened the door to see him standing there in sweat pants and a sweat shirt. We thought alike. He smiled when he stepped in the door."I'm so sorry I'm late" He handed me the box of food, it smelled so good."It’s no problem, I was only starving" I joked. He laughed and slipped his shoes off and followed me up the stairs. "How are the roads?" I asked taking his coat and hanging on another chair. "Not good" he replied, “but the plows are just coming out now." I nodded, "what to drink" I asked opening the fridge to show him the selection. "Um... I'll have a Coke" he said. I took one out for myself and grabbed napkins while he unpacked the box. "There was like no one getting food tonight" he said. "Yeah, that's because only crazy people go out during snowstorms" I said with a chuckle. He smiled and put my sesame chicken, sticky rice and egg roll on the plate. "Thanks for this" I said. He took a bite of his chicken and said, with his mouth full, "anytime." I see he hadn't broken that habit yet. “Nice place” he said. I thanked him. We ate in silence for a few minutes and then he spoke up. "So how was work today?" He asked. "It was good. Your visit was a hit. All the kids were so happy to see you guys" I replied. "I'm glad" he said. We started talking about common things, talking like we were old friends. Which we technically were. Pretty soon we were done with our dinners. We reached for a fortune cookie at the same time. Then like we used to, we broke the cookies and switched the fortunes with each other. I sighed and rolled my eyes when I read mine. 'Forgiveness brings happiness'. Did this fortune know my situation or what?"What's yours say?" He asked looking over his little paper at me. "Forgiveness brings happiness" I said. His eyebrows raised and a small smile crept to his face. "Yours?" I then asked. "It says that luck is in my immediate future" he said, eyebrows furrowing. "I don't really understand it though, I didn't buy a lottery ticket or anything" he said. I laughed even though his joke wasn’t funny.A few moments went by and I could feel my heartbeat in my ears as I began to speak. "So ... I liked the flowers you sent" I said, looking away from him, but then back up to meet his caramel gaze. He looked away. "I didn't think you had gotten them." I shrugged my shoulders and put on a straight face. "I've been really busy with work for the past few weeks" I lied, "that's why I couldn't get back to you." He nodded, and then let out a sigh. "Peyton, I'm sorry that I ever left you. But had to leave you, you know that" he started. But I interrupted him, "I know you had to leave, but you didn't have to leave me the way you did. You came to my house with no warning and said you were leaving. I thought you would at least be with me for three more weeks." He shot me an annoyed look. "Can you let me finish what I was saying?" He asked. I just looked at him. "I was going to say, I regret leaving you like I did. I never forgave myself and everyday for months after I came here, that picture kept rolling through my head. I felt so horrible Pey. I called your house all the time, but your parents said it wasn't a good idea to talk to you. I didn't know what else to do. Then you shut me down at the coffee house, I felt like I would never be able to fix this. To fix us" he said. I still didn't say anything. He took a deep breath. "I know it sounds so cliché, but I just can't picture myself with anyone but you. I tried to forget about you" I winced and felt a tug at my heart “but I would always push people that I met away because I thought that maybe, I hoped that someday you would give me another chance." He finally looked into my eyes. I could see he was sincere. Hearing those words out of his mouth made my mind start racing. Before I could think of what to do, I acted on instinct. I reached for his hand and held it in mine. It was bigger than I remembered. "Do you mean that?" I asked. He nodded slowly, his gaze never leaving mine. I looked away and took my hand back. He stood up and began putting dishes into the dishwasher and told me to 'go relax'. He meant it; he could probably tell that I was exhausted. I turned on the TV and the news was still on. I listened to the man and women speak."There are reports of major accidents on both highways and roads. Traffic is backed up everywhere, causing more accidents. There is ice and snow on the roads making driving conditions very dangerous. We are telling you now, seriously, do not go out anywhere if you don't have to. The roads are too dangerous right now and your safety could be at risk" the man said. I imagined Sidney driving and getting hurt. I could not bear the thought of that. He walked into the living room holding his jacket. "Its late. I should get going" he said. I shook my head, "I can't let you leave" I said softly pointing to the TV. He listened for a minute. "Come on Pey, it’s just a little snow" he said and started walking down the stairs. I got up and ran after him. "Sidney you are not leaving here tonight. You can't risk getting hurt. You can stay in the living room. I’ll give you blankets and make you breakfast tomorrow and let you use my shower" I said trying to get around him. He was like a brick wall, strong and sturdy. But I snuck in front of him and stood right in front of the door, my hands spread out over it. "Peyton, move." He said but I didn't budge. His gaze narrowed at me. "Look the only way you are leaving is if you forcefully move me" I began, wrong thing to say though, he could easily pick me up. "If you moved me forcefully I would file assault on you and then you would be in a lot of trouble." He rolled his eyes, "enough with the drama" he said. He went to reach for the door handle and I slapped his hand away. "Sidney Patrick you are not leaving here. I cannot be held responsible for you being hurt. I know you think that you are a safe driver, but seriously, you know that other people aren't as careful as you" I was rambling now. He needed to stay, he couldn't leave. He looked out the window and sighed dropping his shoes. "Fine." He said, but I could tell he didn't have a real problem with staying here. He was too stubborn to admit it. I didn't really have a problem with it either, but I didn't let him see that.

Friday, July 25, 2008

More Than A Memory-Ch5

Chapter 5:
I walked around the patient rooms after the players’ had gone through to check on them. Most of them were so excited they could barely speak. They showed off their signed pictures, hats, posters and the little penguins that were being handed out. They all thanked me numerous times, but I told them that it was nothing and I was happy to help. One little boy, Grayson, described his experience to me.
“Dr. Brooks! Sidney Crosby came in here with Marc-Andre Fleury and they signed my hat and look they gave me this huge poster and signed it.” He pointed to the poster that was now on his bulletin board. “And then I took a picture with them. Then Sidney told me that he would come back with the picture and put it in a frame to give to me! Isn’t that awesome?! They are so cool” he said, in one breath. He sighed and clapped his hands after he was done explaining. “They sure are nice guys!” he said. “Well Grayson, I have to go check on other kids now and make sure they aren’t having too much fun” I said handing him a chocolate bar. It was good to see him smile, he hardly ever spoke this much. “I will see you up at the recreation area in a little while alright?” I called. “Yes. I’m so excited!” I smiled to myself as I walked out the door.
*
After making my rounds over 4 floors, it was time for the meet and greet in the recreation area. I checked my appearance in the mirror on the wall right before a bunch of kids entered the room. Amy was with them, a huge smile on her face. She walked up to me after giving some kids fresh crayons for their easels.
“How is it going?” Amy asked. “It’s going great actually. All the kids are having a great time, and I think the players are too” I said. I pointed through the glass doors at Jordan Staal giving a little girl a piggy back ride. She was laughing alone with him. Amy laughed. “How are you doing” she said. “I’m fine. Professional, I’m being professional.” My breath caught in my throat as he walked through the door pushing a small girl in a wheelchair. Amy leaned over towards me, “He looks like good father material” she whispered. I gasped. “Professional” I said again, “Now go do your job.” I gave her a little shove towards everyone and started to fill the cups with juice.
After pouring almost 60 cups of apple juice, I started handing them out to the kids along with their packages of animal crackers. “Are those Penguin shaped crackers?” Ryan Whitney joked. I laughed, “No sorry.” The girl he was coloring with looked up at me. “Dr. Brooks, is this sugar free apple juice?” she asked. “Yes it is” I replied. “Good, I have to watch my blood sugar today” she replied and took a sip of the juice. I smoothed out her hair and walked back towards the corner of the recreation room and the small kitchenette.
I watched the kids interact with the guys. For once they actually got to act like kids. I was proud of my success and was basking in pride when my closest patient, Jared, ran over to me. Jared is 4 years old. He is autistic and suffers from epilepsy, or seizures. He lost the ability to talk, but now can say only a few common words. Jared was my first patient, and I plan to be his doctor for a long time. He was laughing and hugging my legs out of excitement. He reached his arms up to me signaling that he wanted to be held, so I picked him up and balanced him on a hip. I gave him an animal cracker and he chewed it quickly, sending crumbs all over my shirt and his. I laughed while brushing away the crumbs.
“Are you having fun?” I asked him. He looked at me with a blank expression, its normal. “Fun” I repeated and pointed to all the people. “Yes” he whispered. He always was quieter in places where many people were. He also was very shy around most people except for me, the nurses, his family and two or three other little kids on his floor. He was playing with his small stuffed penguin when he held it up and smiled at me. “Fun” he repeated. We stood there for a few minutes; I was watching Sidney play a game of pool with a teenage boy. Sidney had him laughing the whole time. When the game was done he noticed that I was staring at him. I quickly looked away.
I was observing a few girls playing a puppy dog video game with Brooks Orpik, when Sidney came and stood next to me. Jared looked at him and smiled. “Hey buddy” he said and held his hand out for a high five. Jared just looked at him, and then back at me. “He’s really shy” I said in a quiet voice. I then noticed how quiet the room had gotten when it was just Sidney and I. The room was really loud, but I tuned it out. I felt like I was on the outside looking in. Just then Jared reached over to Sidney; he wanted him to hold him. Sidney acted on instinct and took him in his arms. “What’s his name?” he asked. “Jared” I replied, “He is autistic; he lost his ability to speak from having epilepsy. He is just starting to talk again.” He nodded. I reached over and brushed a stay crumb off his face. He laughed and snuggled into Sidney shoulder. “He likes you” I said. Sidney smiled. “Is he going to be alright?” he asked looking deep into my eyes. It seemed as if he was saying, “Are we going to be alright?” I nodded, “Yeah. He will get better in time.” Sidney smiled. And we stood there for a few minutes in silence.
*
The visit was a hit. I had people praising me all the way from the recreation area, back to my office. I finally got back to my office around 5:00. Clean up was tough. I kicked my shoes off under the table and put my head down on my desk. I enjoyed the silence for a few minutes, and then I heard a knock on my door.
I sighed, “Come in.” I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen to make it look like I was actually working. It was Sidney, I got butterflies. He only put his head in the door. “Um, I was just on my way out and um… I was wondering if you wanted to do dinner?” he asked nervously. I thought about it for a moment. “Well it’s now or never” I thought to myself. “Sure that’s fine. But you are buying” I half joked. He smiled. “Your place?” he asked. I went over a mental check list; it was clean, I didn’t have anything to do tonight, it was Wednesday… “Yeah” I replied. I scribbled down the directions as he listed what he could pick up. Then he stopped. “Chinese” he said, “I’ll get the usual.” We used to have Chinese food every other Saturday, it was tradition. I smiled. I handed him the paper with the directions on it, then he walked out the door. He left it open. “6:30” he called.
I sighed and sunk back down in the chair. “Wait, if the program ended an hour or so ago… what was he still doing here?” I thought. I shrugged it off and looked out my window. It was snowing. “Perfect” I said. I slipped on my coat, grabbed my bag and walked down to the parking garage. It turns out, today wasn’t such a disaster. But tonight, well, that could be a whole different story.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

More Than A Memory-Ch4

Chapter 4:
I ended up leaving work about 20 minutes after Sidney left. Thank god it was late and not a lot of people were there to see my tear streaked face leaving. I think I hit every single red light on the way home, and it was raining. Could this day possibly get any worse? When I got home I changed into my pajamas, made a Boboli pizza and settled into my couch. I ate and watched the late news. After I was done eating and everything I threw a load of laundry in and went up to my room. Even though it was only after 8:00, I decided to go to bed.
**
Two weeks later I arrived at work a little late; traffic sucks sometimes. As soon as I walked in my secretary, Donna, handed me a few memos and told me that there was a delivery for me and she just put it on my desk. While I opened the door to my office I read the first memo. It said I had a very important staff meeting today at 10:00. I dropped my coat and purse on a chair and turned to my desk. My heart sank. There were probably a dozen different colored daisies in a vase. I looked at the card. It was hand written.
Peyton-
I want to fix this. Please.
-Sidney
I sighed and tucked the card into the top drawer of my desk. I looked at the clock, it read 9:30. I figured I would go check in on some of my patients before the meeting so I grabbed a few candies out of the bag in my desk and made my rounds.
I arrived at the meeting just in time. I took a seat next to the head of Oncology and opened up my planner. The president of the hospital walked into the room a few seconds later. He began talking about small complaints that needed to be attended to, some of the renovations that will be happening, and a few events that were going to be going on in the conference room.“This Wednesday [it was Monday] we will be having a few members of the Pittsburgh Penguins visit the children” he said. “And with our rotating organizer system, this year’s organizer will be Dr. Brooks.” I almost choked on my coffee. I remembered I was in public, so I kindly smiled and accepted the position. “I want them here around 1:00 and the program will end around 4:00” he said. I nodded and wrote it down. This was going to be a great time.
**
Sure enough, Wednesday morning did come. It took me a long time to get out of bed. I kept telling myself I had to get up, but I would just roll back over into the comfort of my bed. I finally got myself to the shower and let the hot water run on my face. I got out of the shower, blow dried and straightened my hair a little, then I went to my closets to try and find something to wear.
I chose a matching black lace and thong set for starters. I had to put on pantyhose, hospital policy. I then put on a charcoal colored high waisted pencil skirt that hit just below the knees. I picked out a crisp white button up blouse with a white lacey camisole underneath. I tucked the shirt into the skirt and added a slim black patent leather belt. I picked out a pair of black suede Ralph Lauren pumps and slipped them on. I went down to the kitchen and grabbed some breakfast. Then I brushed my teeth, grabbed a long faced black wool/cashmere jacket and my black Coach work bag, I walked out into the garage. It was very cold outside, it was January, it was a good thing I had a pair of leather gloves in the car.
I drove to work a little slower than I should have. I was dreading this, badly. “Grow up Peyton. You knew this was going to happen sooner or later” I demanded myself before stepping out into the cold parking garage. I took a deep breath and looked at my Tag watch. It was only 9:30, I groaned. I walked briskly into my office and Amy was there within 5 minutes of my arrival.
“I’m surprised to see you here!” she called as she handed me a large coffee. “Well it is work. I’m getting paid double for this. So tomorrow when I get my check, I’m off to Bloomingdales to get a nice new outfit” I said putting away random files that had been skewed across my desk. “So does he know you will be here?” she asked, making herself comfortable in the chair opposite my desk. “Well I assume so” I replied. I took a swig of coffee, enjoying the hot sweet taste. “What do you think he will do? What are you going to do if he says something to you? You aren’t going to cause a scene are you?” “What is this 20 questions?” I replied, annoyed. She shot me a get-over-yourself look. “Well anyway this is strictly business. I can’t be caught off guard here. This is my workplace, if he disrupts me, I will be extremely pissed off” I said. She laughed and agreed. “Peyton, whatever you do, please, do not put up a wall between you and him. You are eventually going to have to talk to him about it, you can’t keep putting it off” she said. I told her that I knew that and I just needed time. We talked for a few more minutes and then she had to leave. “By the way, you look hot today” she said as she walked out the door. I looked in my full length mirror on the back of my door. Amy was right about most things.
*
I spent the morning confirming all the plans that I had set up with the players. There would be nine of them coming and they would be in 3 groups. Each group would go through at least 2 floors. After their tour, some children would then go into the large recreation area and have a meet and greet session. Around 11:00 I went into the recreation area to clean and make sure all the decorations were set up. I picked up the stray blocks and markers that were lying around on the floor. I straightened up the banner that the kids had made. It read ‘Welcome Penguins’ with cut outs of the logo colored all different ways around it. I went to the fridge and made sure there was enough sugar free apple juice for everyone. There were 4 big jugs; I figured we should have plenty. I made sure there were enough animal crackers too. There was a box with 150 packets of animal crackers; we would definitely have some left over. I checked the stock on paper plates, cups and napkins. There weren’t enough cups though; I would have to get some from the storage room. A few kids came into the room to play.
“Hey guys” I chirped bending down to their eye level. “Hi Dr. Brooks” they said together. “Today we are having some visitors come here” I started to explain, “They are very nice people and will have a really fun time with you in here. But you need to keep it clean because you want to make a good impression on them. And if one of them slips on a marker or a ball they would get hurt” I said. They agreed to clean up whatever they played with. I was satisfied with their answer, but on my way out I told the nurses at the station to make sure that they clean up, and if they don’t, they will have to. They understood and agreed to my requests.
I grabbed a quick lunch and ran more cups up to the recreation room. I was in the lobby along with other doctors at 12:45, waiting, well dreading, the players’ arrival. The president of the hospital, Dr. Churchill, walked down to the lobby and thanked me for everything I had done to put together the program. I stood facing the doorway with my head glued on the floor. I was nervous, I could feel my heartbeat in my throat. I was telling myself to take deep breaths, and that he knew he had to be professional about everything today. Deep down inside, I wanted him to say something to me.
I was snapped out of my calming technique when I heard Dr. Churchill say “Their here.” I looked up and sure enough a big group of guys was walking in the doors. I smoothed my skirt and took a deep breath. “Good afternoon boys” Dr. Churchill said, “First of all I would like to thank you for coming here today, the kids are looking forward to this. These are the heads of the multiple departments” he said pointing to me and 4 other doctors. He introduced them all, saving me for last. “And this is Dr. Peyton Brooks. She organized this whole program for us today” Dr. Churchill said proudly. “Hello everyone” I said shaking hands. Jordan Staal, Sergei Gonchar, Evgeni Malkin, Petr Sykora, Marc-Andre Fleury, Ryan Whitney, Max Talbot and Brooks Orpik all shook my hand. Sidney was the last one.
“Sidney Crosby” he said taking my hand. I felt a rush of electricity flow up my arm, and by the look in his eyes, I knew he felt it too. “Peyton Brooks” I said. Our hands lingered for a moment, and I realized it. I pulled away and felt myself blush. “Well we better get going” I said, “Dr. Churchill can lead the way.” They began walking and Sidney and I fell behind. He was looking down at me when I looked up at him. We started walking side by side, and his hand casually brushed mine. I got butterflies and looked up at him. I remembered this was work, for both of us. “Not now” I whispered. He turned his head forward and kept walking. The thing is, I wanted to grab his hand and hold it, like we used to all the time.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

More Than A Memory-Ch3

Chapter 3:
It was around 5:00 when I finally looked up from my paperwork. I figured I would stay late to get most of the work I needed to catch up on to the side. I kicked off my decided to kick off my heels and sit on my floor sorting papers on the floor in front of me. I had 6 different piles of patient information sorted when I heard a faint knock on my door. “Come in, but open the door slowly” I said figuring it was Amy, or another doctor. My mouth went dry and I felt my heart in my throat when I saw him standing there.
“Hey” he said. I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say, and then I realized I was sitting on the floor like a child. I coughed, stood up and started picking up the piles of paper and placing them on top of a filing cabinet. I walked behind my desk and sat down, enjoying the nice space that my desk created between us. He took a step in and closed the door. “The uh, person at the main desk told me where your office was” he said sitting down. “Yeah” was all I managed to say. I took a deep breath. “So I saw you last night” he said. “I thought you recognized me” I said looking up at him, he looked nervous and even more gorgeous up close. “You know at first, I didn’t think it was really you. This might sound strange, but you have been in my thoughts so many times I thought you were just imaging things.” He avoided my gaze and then slowly looked back at me. “I didn’t think you would remember me” I whispered. There was an odd moment of silence and I decided to make polite conversation, hopefully to distract him from whatever he came here for. “So how are things?” I asked. “Their good. Last year I bought a nice apartment just outside of the city” he answered.
Memory—
“Sidney, check this out!” I called from my bedroom in my house. “I’m coming, I’m coming” he answered. He walked into the room holding two mugs of hot chocolate. He handed one to me and took the chair next to me. “What is that?” he asked pointing to the computer screen. “This” I said, “Is where you are going to buy us a nice little house while you are in Pittsburgh” I said. I took a sip of my hot chocolate while he looked at the information. “Yeah this is nice” he said, “But do you really think that I want to share a house with you? I mean come on, you have me make you hot chocolate and have me reach things that are too high for you to reach. Sometimes I have to help you lift heavy things and open jars that are stuck. That seems like a little much.” I gasped, in mock offence. We both laughed and he leaned in and kissed my forehead.
He stood up and went to lie on my bed. He switched on the TV and settled in. I turned back around and looked at the computer screen. I closed my eyes and imagined us living in that little house. It was perfect. I sighed. “I’m only 17” I thought. I finished up an email, signed out of everything and shut down the computer. I drank the last swig of my hot chocolate and looked at the clock. It was only a little after 10. I got up, shut off the light and headed towards my bed. Like he was trained or something, Sidney slid towards the edge of the bed as I climbed over him to the other side, with his eyes still fixed on the TV. I snuggled into him and enjoyed the way our bodies molded together perfectly. I enjoyed this almost nightly ritual, and like always I drifted off to sleep.
I was only wakened once. I felt him stir and get up off the bed. “Goodnight baby” he whispered. He bent down to brush my hair back and kiss my lips. I heard the door open and shut, and then I rolled closer to where he was laying. He had left his sweatshirt. I cuddled up to it and inhaled the familiar scent. With a content smile on my face, I fell back to sleep.
End—

“Peyton” he said a little louder than necessary. “Sorry. I was just-“ he cut me off. “Thinking. I know, you used to do that a lot.” A small smile crept its way across my face. “So how are you?” he asked. “Well busy” I said pointing to the stacks of paper around me. He looked to where I was pointing and his eyebrows rose. “Is this job everything you wanted?” he asked. He knew this is what I wanted to do since I was in middle school. “Yes, actually. I looked to a picture of the children I council on my desk and I smiled. “I help kids be kids. It is the best thing I can do” I said. I looked back at him, he was smiling. “I’m glad” he replied.
We talked for a few more minutes about small things, his team and stuff. We were talking like we used to back when we were together; we were laughing and just having a good time. He mentioned something about how our plans had changed from what we wanted them to be. Then his eyes grew sad. “Were you ever going to tell me you were here?” he asked quietly. I looked away from him, and out to the window. I looked at the beautiful skyline and shook my head. “No” I whispered. He looked down and his jaw clenched. “Why not?” he asked. “Sid. I don’t know” I paused to think, “I was just too busy to really think about you.” I was lying. Flat out lying. A day had never gone by that I didn’t think of him, or how my life could be different if I was with him. He noticed I was lying, he was good at that. “Can you tell me the real reason?” He put his hands on the edge of my desk and was running his thumb over the shiny wood.
I didn’t answer for a moment, “I was scared to” I whispered, “You hurt me. You, the person who I thought could never hurt me.” I closed my eyes tight. “I didn’t know what to do when you left, and I hadn’t heard from you” I said. “I called the day after I left, and the day after” he said. I looked up at him. I didn’t know what to say. I could feel hot tears coming to my eyes. I didn’t want him to see me like this. I needed to get out of here. I took my cell phone out of my pocket and pressed the buttons for my office phone. It rang and he jumped. I picked up and pretended like I was being called or something. Then I hung up. “You have to go, I have to leave” I said standing up. I got up to get the door for him and he put his hand on my shoulder. His touch felt like a drop of white hot metal. I shrugged him off and opened the door. “Pey, I just want to talk about this. Fix things” he said with pleading eyes. I shook my head and pushed him out. “I can’t. I can’t. I can’t” I repeated my words. “Goodbye” I said and shut the door. I heard him say something and then sigh angrily. I sank down on the floor and started to cry.
He had opened a wound that was never fully healed. I didn’t know what was happened with us. I didn’t know what he wanted. And I was scared that I would get hurt again.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

More Than A Memory-Ch2

Chapter 2:
At first he just looked blankly into the crowd, his gaze narrowed towards the front. He was probably thinking about something. Then he looked away quickly. I did my hair flip again. [Alright, this was a bad habit I needed to break] and he did a double take. He was staring right at me and I grabbed Amy’s wrist. “Oh my god” she sneered. His head tilted to the left, like it always did when he was concentrating on something. Our gazes locked for a brief moment, and then one of his teammates started talking to him. He looked away and skated out to take the faceoff. Halfway through the 3rd he scored a breakaway goal. I was smiling when he returned to the bench. He looked at me briefly and took his seat.
*
The game was over and Amy and I left quickly. We both had to be at work early. [I am the head of Pediatric Psychology at the Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh, Amy is one of the head nurses that works in the same wing of the building that I do] We got into her SUV and drove in silence for a few minutes. “Do you think he knows?” I asked nervously. “There is a good chance yes. And a good chance no. I mean it has been at least three years since you last talked to him, saw him even” she said.

Memory—
It was a cold January morning. Before my first day at work I went to a small coffee house about 2 blocks away from the hospital. I ordered my mocha coffee with a shot of espresso and moved to the side to wait. “Order for Peyton Brooks” the busy barista said. The customer that’s order was being taken shot his head to look up at me. I looked under the brim of his hat and I felt my heart in my throat. “Oh my dear god” I said to myself. I grabbed my coffee and started to walk away. Then his voice, a little deeper now, called out to me. “Pey? Wait” he said. I froze, cursed under my breath and turned around to look at him. He was still the same height, maybe a little taller. He was more muscular now, and his facial features were strong and manly. He didn’t look like the high school boy he used to.
“Hey. What are you doing here?” he asked. “Um… I’m just here for um… business” I said looking down. “Well how are you doing?” he asked stepping closer. “I’m fine. Just fine. What about you?” I asked, being polite. “Well I’m good. You know we should get together soon or something. I really miss you, we should like talk or something.” He was rambling, like he always did when he was nervous. I shook my head. “Sidney it has been 2 years. I’ve moved on” I said softly. I was lying, I never let him go. He had been my first love, I still felt hurt when I looked back up at him. He was frowning. “Well um yeah… Alright. Well I’ll see you around I guess” he said and rubbed the back of his neck. I nodded. “Goodbye Sidney.” I turned and walked out the door. When I turned back to look at him through the glass windows, he was looking at me with pleading eyes. “No” I said to myself. “He hurt me too much. I can’t do this again.” I started my SUV and blasted the heat. I saw him through the rearview mirror looking around when he got out of the coffee shop. His head hung low.
End--


We pulled up to my condominium complex and I gave Amy a quick hug. “Everything will be just fine” she said when I hopped out of the car. “My turn for coffee tomorrow morning right?” I asked. “Yes it is. I’ll see you at 8.” I closed the door and went inside. I took my jacket off [it was mid-November] and slipped off my shoes. I went upstairs to my kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water and went up another flight of stairs to my bedroom. I turned on the news and listened to it while I took off my make-up. A sports reporter came on.
“The Pittsburgh Penguins blew away the Carolina Hurricanes tonight. Sidney Crosby scored 2 goals and had an assist. After the game we wanted to hear from the superstar, but he told our reporter that he had some personal business to take care of. The other goals were scored by…” the man’s voice dragged on after that. I looked at myself in the mirror. I sighed. I wonder what he had to do, but I soon shrugged it off. I climbed into bed, made sure my alarm was set and drifted off to sleep.
*
I was busy filling out a patient evaluation form when my mother called me.
“Dr. Brooks?” I said. “Hi honey, it’s me” she said into the phone. “Hi mom, how are you?” “I’m doing fine. How is work?” “It’s alright. I’m swamped with paperwork today though” I said. She told me about how I should learn to manage my time better or something, I really wasn’t listening. “So guess who called the house this morning asking for you” she said. “I don’t know” I said, uninterested. “Sidney” she said slowly. I dropped my pen on the floor and felt my heart rate quicken. “Yeah he told me he thought he saw you at the game last night and that he spent all night trying to find our home phone number” she said. “Well what did you tell him?” I asked. “Well I told him you were a doctor and head of a department in the city so it was possible that you could have been there” she said. “What else did he want?” I asked. “Well he wanted to know how you were doing, so I told him you were doing fine. And that you were still single and basically a workaholic.” “Is that it?” I asked. “Yes, pretty much” she said. I breathed a sigh of relief. “I did see him mom. I was there, right behind the glass. It brought back all those memories from a long time ago. I shouldn’t have gone” I whispered. “Honey, it was just a matter of time that you saw him again” she paused, “ You know Trina still lives 2 minutes away from us. Sometimes I see her at the store. She asks about you, everyone does. They love you honey, and from the way Sidney sounded on the phone this morning, I can tell he still loves you too” she said, in all honesty. “Well mom, that ended 5 years ago. He is 23 now, I am 22. I think his feelings might have changed” I said. I could hear her sigh. “Mom I have to get back to work. I will call you later when I get home” I said. She said goodbye and I hung up the phone.
I sighed. I didn’t know what to do about him. He hadn’t even contacted me, or tried to since I saw him at the coffee shop. “Whatever” I said aloud and shook the thoughts of him from my head. I picked up my pen and looked at the clock. It was 11:30 and I had an appointment to get to.

INFORMATION

Hey all my lovely readers!

I just wanted to let you guys know that I am NOT done with "Letting Love In" yet. The ideas for "More Than A Memory" have been filling up my brain and I just wanted to get them out.

I also probably won't be updating that much in the next 2 weeks. I'll be really busy with work and getting ready for my vacation. I will try to update as much as possible though.

Enjoy!

*Kat

Friday, July 18, 2008

More Than A Memory-Ch1

Chapter 1:
I don’t know what I was thinking when I agreed to go to a game with my best friend Amy. I knew he would be there; he is captain for crying out loud. I hoped we wouldn’t be seated near the bench, or the glass for that matter. But was thinking? He wouldn’t remember me even if he did see me. I’m much more grown now. It has been at least 3 years since we’ve talked. There is no chance.
****
“What section are we in?” I asked Amy while we were walking through the doors of Mellon Arena. “Um, I’m not sure. It says something about like a row A of some E section” Amy replied. “Let’s just ask this guy” she said and walked her long legs to a man standing by a set of doors wearing what looked like to be a arena uniform. “Excuse me sir, but could you please tell us where these seats are?” she asked. “Well miss, you are going to go through these doors and go all the way down the stairs until you can’t go anymore. Your row will be on your left. Your seats are about halfway down” he said with a kind smile. “Thank you” we both called as we stepped through the doors. I was too busy trying to balance my beer and my purse while we walked down the steps to really notice where we were headed. Amy stopped in front of me. Shit.
Our seats were right behind the bench. I sat down, nervous. “Great seats huh?” Amy said clapping her hands like the little school-girl she truly was. “Yeah… great” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. I took a long swig of my beer and the lights went low. “Please welcome your Pittsburgh Penguins!” the announcer bellowed through the speakers. He was the first to step out onto the ice. He took one big stride onto the cool surface, just like he always did. His facial expression, pure readiness, reminded me of how game days used to be.

Memory—
“You ready?” I asked him tapping his shoulder pads. “Like always” he said. I gave him a kiss on the cheek. He smiled. “Where are you sitting tonight” he asked. “Third row off the ice, right at center, opposite the benches” I chirped. “Nice” he replied. “Score some big ones out there for me tonight” I said sternly. “Baby, you know I always do” he said, jokingly. We both laughed and then the door behind him opened. “Let’s go Sidney” his best friend Jack said, “Oh, Hi Pey.” “Hi Jack” I said before he disappeared into the locker room. He planted a soft kiss on my lips, “See you after the game.” He winked at me and then shut the locker room door. I hurried to my seat and sat down.
Within a minute they came out onto the ice. He skated out strongly and began to do his warm-up drills. Then he skated over to where I was seated and stretched out on the ice. He turned around to look at me, then he winked. I laughed as he skated away. Then he took the opening faceoff.
End—


“Peyton. Hello? Earth to Dr. Peyton Brooks” Amy said waving a hand in front of my face. “Sorry” I sputtered, “I was just thinking about something.” “You mean how you and El Capitan used to have a fling during high school?” she quickly said. “No” I said. She narrowed her gaze at me. “Well, yes. I can’t believe you even got me to come here” I spat. “It was one of the perks about asking you something on a busy day. You say ‘yes’ to everything” she said. I rolled my eyes. And then the team skated over to the bench. I grabbed Amy’s arm as he skated to a halt directly parallel to me. My breath caught in my throat. “Don’t worry about it” she said, “Everyone knows he doesn’t look at the crowd during games.” I did my trademark ‘comb-fingers-through-and-flip-hair’ nervous habit and took another sip of my beer.
*
He played through the whole first period flawlessly. He already had a goal and an assist. I could feel a 4 point game coming; it was another grown habit of mine. During the first intermission I felt calm. “This is going well so far” Amy said returning to her seat with a giant pretzel. I nodded and she offered me a piece. After scoping out cute guys around us for about 5 minutes, the guys game back on the ice. The second period flew by. They were leading the Hurricanes 4 to 1. I checked my email on my BlackBerry during the 2nd intermission and then they skated onto the ice for the final time. I began to get a little disappointed. I still wanted to talk to him. I was angry he ever left me, more angry he never called me to see how I was, and I could still feel the whole in my heart from that very night he said goodbye.

Memory—
“So you are leaving?” “Yes.” “Tomorrow?” “Yes.” “Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving this early?” I asked him pacing around my room. “I thought it would be better. So that… I don’t know… this wouldn’t be so difficult” he said watching me pace from my bed. I was silent for a while and closed my eyes to take it all in. My boyfriend was leaving me tomorrow to go to Pittsburgh. We had been together almost every day for the past 4 years. I knew he had to leave soon, but not this soon. He couldn’t just break up with me could he? It can’t be that easy.
I took a deep breath. “So where does that leave me?” I asked in a small voice. “I don’t know” he answered. Then he stood up in front of me. “Peyton I love you, and you know that. But you being so far away and me being so busy I just… I don’t know how it will work” he whispered. “But Connecticut is only an 8 hour drive. A 2 hour flight. I can come see you like every other weekend or something” I said in protest. My heart was sinking slowly. “Pey, I don’t want to do this. You know I don’t, but this is probably the best thing for us.” “But Sidney” I began. “I love you and you make me whole. You are my best friend. I can’t live without you. I can make it work. We can make it work! We have to make it work.” He shook his head. “Pey I can’t.” My heart sank. Tears fell down my cheeks, and my head was throbbing. He wiped them away with his thumbs and took me into his arms. My body went stiff to his touch, my heart was broken. “I have to go” he said. “No Sidney. Please, this can’t just be the end.” I cried. He sighed and turned for my door. “I’ll see you around Peyton” he said and walked out of my room. He had walked out of my life. I fell onto my bed and cried myself to sleep.
End—


I was staring straight at him remembering the night he walked out of my life. Anger and hurt rose to the surface. I unconsciously did my hair flip, and then he looked up.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Letting Love In-Ch41

Chapter 41:

He was already awake and gone when I woke up. My body felt heavy and I had a headache. I rolled over to see the door was halfway open. I didn’t hear the TV on at all, or the shower, or him making noise downstairs; but it is a big house for two people. I got up and slowly walked to the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror I saw that my eyes were puffy, my hair was a mess, and I had bags under my already puffy eyes. I rinsed off my face and decided I should go downstairs. “It’s now or never right?” I said to my reflection. I prepared myself while I went down the stairs in the front leading me right into the kitchen. I looked around and he was nowhere. I looked over at the sink and saw some dishes inside. Then I looked on the table and saw that there was a note.

Gone for a run. Breakfast is in the microwave. Just please take the foil off before you reheat it. –Sidney

My heart sank. “How could he just leave?” I thought. “Didn’t he want to fix things?” I thought it over while opening up the microwave and seeing pancakes a few pieces of bacon and a scrambled egg on a plate. “He probably wanted to give me time to think” I said to myself. I heated it up [yes I took the foil off] and sat down in the living room to eat. I turned on the big screen TV and started to watch Regis and Kelly, which always made me laugh. After two good interview sessions with Reese Witherspoon, I heard the garage door open, and I got nervous.
I could hear his iPod when he walked into the corridor. My back was to him but I could feel his eyes on me like daggers when he walked into the corridor. I could picture him looking like a deer in the middle of a road before its death to a speeding car. I ignored him at first and then turned around to see him. His head was in the fridge and just as he pulled it out I whipped my gaze back around to the TV. He kicked his shoes off and came to sit down on the couch on the other side of the room. We were silent for a while. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. I realized he wasn’t going to speak, so I did.

“Tell me the story” I said, not looking at him, but keeping my gaze focused on the TV. “From the beginning” I added. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him lean forward and rub his hands on his thighs. I shut off the TV but kept my focus on the black screen. He took a deep breath and started to talk.

“Her name is Allie. She moved here in 9th grade. She was in my algebra class and my English class. We didn’t really talk much for the first year she was here. But we knew who each other was. Then one night she was at a party that I was. It was a big party for upperclassmen, and since I was friends with a lot of them they invited me. I didn’t really like drinking, so I didn’t. Then I saw her being yelled at by some guy. I don’t think he was from our school, but anyway I went over to him and told him to back off. She was crying really bad and I asked her what was wrong. She didn’t say anything she just hugged me. And then she asked me if I would leave with her and I told her sure. We just walked around town for the night and then I brought her home. Then after that night we would hang out at each other’s houses or go out somewhere. I knew she really liked me, but I didn’t really like her as a girlfriend. We had … well you know… a number of times between then party and the beginning of grade 11.” I turned towards him now, but I wouldn’t look at him. “Then I started to kind of like her and one night she told me she loved me and I panicked and said that I loved her too.” I felt like I was hit with a rock, I couldn’t picture him with her, it didn’t fit.

“After that I kind of grew into liking her as a little more than a friend. But I kind of just wanted to be friends… with… um… benefits. I didn’t tell her that, but one day she overheard me talking with a couple of my guy friends. She was standing right behind me when I said something about me not liking her the same way she liked me. Then I turned around and she started screaming at me. I felt like such an ass. I tried calling her, emailing her, one time I went to her house but her dad told me to leave the second I rang the bell. I just let it go. Then one day about two months later, I went up to the gazebo just to sit and think and she was there. She didn’t have anywhere to run to so she just sat there. I tried to talk to her but she turned into some freak-bitch. She yelled at me, telling me how I broke her heart and how much of an asshole pig I was. Then she went on about how I ruined her life or something. I could understand where she was coming from, but I was 16, I really don’t think I ruined her life. She had carved our initials into one of the floorboards of the gazebo and when she saw it she found a rock and scribbled it out. That was the last time I talked to her about the situation. And I saw it yesterday while we were there and I freaked out because I didn’t want her to come and try to talk to me. Or do anything that has to do with me.

“Then I started talking to another girl. I don’t remember her name. But that doesn’t matter. Anyway… It was just a casual thing. But this time I actually liked her. I wasn’t in it just for… well the benefits. When Allie saw me talking to her one day in the hallway at school she came over and asked me if we were still on for the night, but we hadn’t had any plans. I mean I hadn’t talked to her in months. I looked at her and saw just bitch in her eyes. She tried to break me up with every girl I talked to. Even if we were just friends, she would tell them I talked bad about them or said dirty things about them. It really pissed me off. Jessa ignored me for the rest of high school and then every girl started to look at me like I was a player creep. Allie told everyone what I had done and she even manipulated some of my guy friends against me. It was horrible. She sent me a box one day of our senior year. It had a few of my clothes in it. When I took them out I found a note. It said something like ‘too bad you had to be a selfish ass’. But over the years she became friends with my mom. Apparently my mom helped her with something so she would call every once in a while. I hadn’t told my mom what had happened, but Allie told her and my mom was furious with me. My mom had told her what day I was leaving for Pittsburgh, and she came over. I was in the house alone, my family was in the car, and she came in the room. She told me if I ever had a girlfriend she would tell them how much of an ass I was. I told her it had happened a year ago, to let it go, but she wouldn’t.” He finished with a sigh. I finally looked up at him and his eyes were glassy. “Why was she here last night” I asked, in a voice that was barely audible.

“She was trying to ruin things between us. Like she did in high school. My mom had told her I had gotten a girlfriend and a new house, so I guess she just wanted to show up. Last night she said she wanted to meet the ‘dumb bitch’ that had believed all my lies. Then she went on and said she still loved me and all this crap. Then I started to get angry. It’s like she won’t leave me alone. I told her to get out of my life, I never wanted to see her again, I told her to let it go and move on. We were in high school, it shouldn’t matter. Then I told her about how in love with you I was. And that one day we are going to get married.” He paused and my heart sank a little. “She said a lot of bad things how I must lie to you and stuff. Then you opened the door and she decided to do what she does best and make us fight. I pushed her off of me and told her to never talk to me again. I told her to leave my family alone and that she was crazy to think I could ever love her like I love you.” I looked up at him now. He was leaning towards me, hurt in his eyes.
“What were you holding when you were at your house last night? Did that have to do with her?” I asked, my gaze locked with his. “No actually. It was something for you. I’ll be right back” he said and stood up and walked out of the room. I sank down in my chair with a sigh. He pulled a dick move, with a girl that happened to be a psycho bitch. I knew it wasn’t really his fault; I was starting to forgive him. I smoothed out my pants when he entered the room. Instead of sitting on the couch, this time he crouched down in front of me. “I was planning to give this to you last night. But don’t think I’m just using this to get out of what happened.” he said. He took out a small box and I opened it. There were two keys in it. I held up a plain silver key. “House key. Your house key” he said. I smiled. The other was a set of car keys. “Yours” he said. “You don’t have an Audi” I said to him. “I know” he said, “But you do.” He stood up and walked towards the garage. I was still sitting there, dumbfounded. “Well are you coming or what?” he said. I put the box down and took out the car keys. He opened the door and we walked down a small breezeway where the washer and dryer were, then the door at the end was opened and I saw an Audi Q7 SUV sitting there with a silver bow on the hood.

**

My jaw dropped. “Happy early birthday” he said. I didn’t say anything at first; I stood 2 feet away from it admiring the shine of the fresh black paint. “You can touch it you know” he whispered in my ear. I reached forward and opened the driver’s door. I sat in the seat and looked at Sidney. He was standing next to the door with a smug smile. He was content; he hoped this would heal some of the wound. “When? Who? What?” I asked running my hand along the leather steering wheel. “About 2 weeks ago the family got together and decided we would get you this for your 18th. It mostly your parents and uncle, but I picked it out” he said proudly and admired the way I stared at him. “How am I going to get this home?” I asked. “Well I figured whenever you want to leave I’ll come with you and we can take a little road trip. We drive from here to Connecticut, then stay overnight somewhere. Then we go back down to Pittsburgh” he said. It sounded like fun to me. I nodded. “Want to take it for a test drive?” he asked. I nodded and he opened the garage door. I started the car and he was still standing in the garage. I rolled down the window. “Get in the car. I have no idea where I’m going” I said.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Letting Love In-Ch40

Chapter 40:

He shut the back doors, locked them then pulled the curtains. He kissed me softly all the way to the stairs. And we were half way up the staircase in the living room when there was a knock on the door. At first he ignored it. Then it got louder. “I’ll be up in a minute” he said and ran down the stairs to the front door. I went up the stairs and check out the first room I came to.

I opened the double doors and stepped into a huge bedroom. The walls were a medium brown color and the carpet was beige. There was a king size bed centered at the back of the room and a dresser and a flat panel TV parallel on the other wall. There was a chair in a small cutout area that over looked the front yard. Then I saw two doors. I opened the one closest to the dresser. It was a huge walk in closet; bigger than mine. Two sides were distinguished with the same kind of shelving drawers and racks. There weren’t any clothes in there yet, but I figured this is probably Sidney’s first time sleeping at this house. I exited the closet and then opened the other door. It was a huge bathroom. The first thing I saw was a large Jacuzzi tub. Parallel to that was a two sink counter with cabinets on both sides. They were probably a ‘Yours And Mine’ collection. I wondered if there was a shower and a toilet in this bathroom. Sure enough through yet another door on the far side of the bathroom there was a shower stall and a toilet.
I noticed how the only room that was well furnished was this bedroom, the kitchen, and living room. Then I realized I had probably been up here for about 10 minutes just looking at things. I exited the room and walked down the front stairs. I could hear Sidney talking through the partially opened doors. I figured it was a friend of his so I opened the door. Then I saw it.

**

They were kissing. Not like ‘making-out’ kissing. Just lips touching, hard. I didn’t know what to say. My blood boiled and I managed out, “What the hell?!” I had screamed it. Loud. I slammed the door as he pulled away from her. I heard him yell something, but I couldn’t make it out, my ears were ringing and I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. This time I didn’t cry, I was furious. I was running towards the living room. Why I went that way, I do not know. He ran in after me. “Kay I can explain” he said. “Explain to me why you are kissing another girl, at your house you’ve had for 4 months, while I’m here, upstairs in your bedroom. You are kidding right” I screamed. “Kay you don’t under-“ I cut him off. “Don’t even make excuses. How could you do this to me? You told me 20 minutes ago you loved me. You told me you would never hurt me” I was taking a step towards him with every word. My hands curled into fists and I threw a punch, making sure it went to the shoulder he had bruised. I hit him again, in the same spot, hoping this time I would have some reaction. I looked at him in a red gaze and saw him wince. I felt a little better. As I went to hit him again he grabbed my fists.

“You were just kissing me. We were just about to…” I was fighting to get out of his grasp and I kept yelling. “She is the reason you were sitting in your room last night holding something and got all freaked out when I came in. She is the girl that Taylor was talking about. She is the reason that you were acting so shady by the harbor today. Is she the reason why only your bedroom has furniture?” That got him. “You have no idea what you are talking about” he screamed. This frightened me and I stopped fighting for his grasp. “Now just shut up and let me talk” he said. I was taken back, he let go of me but I escaped upstairs to the bedroom. I saw some stupid looking vase thing on his dresser and hurled it at the door. It shattered loudly, it gave me some relief. I didn’t hear him coming after me. That is when I cried. I fell in a heap on the floor. I felt betrayed, hurt, sick to my stomach, and I felt a burning sensation on my lips where his had been.

I heard him walk up the stairs sometime much later and I saw the shadows of his feet under the door. I wanted him to come in, just so he could see how much he hurt me. But then again, I wanted him to stay out there and feel like an asshole. Soon the door opened. I was almost sleeping, still in that spot on the floor. I decided to stay there and look like I was sleeping just to see what he would do. “Kay?” he whispered. No response. I heard him picking up the broken pieces of pottery and putting them in a trash can near the door. Then he came over and bent down towards me to brush my hair away from my face. I imagine it was tear stained, mascara and eyeliner all a mess down my cheeks. He sighed and then walked away. I heard the bathroom door open and the water run; he came back with a warm washcloth and gently rubbed at my cheeks. He walked away again but then came back. He picked me up and put me softly onto the bed. I felt a blanket cover me and I snuggled into the covers. A minute later I felt the bed sink next to me. He leaned over and kissed my temple. “I’m so sorry Kay” he began in a whisper, “I told her to leave. I never wanted to see her again. I told her I was in love with you and that when we are old enough we are going to get married. She was just about to walk away when she heard you open the door. She kissed me. I swear I didn’t do anything. After you closed the door I screamed at her to get out of my life. I want you and only you. I love you so much, and I hope you forgive me.” He sighed and kissed me again, like he was afraid to.

I don’t care what he just said. I needed to know the whole story before I could forgive him.This time it wasn't going to be that easy. But hearing just that little part made me regret screaming at him and hitting him. I was still upset and a tear rolled down my cheek as he slowly and carefully put a hand on my side. I was facing away from him, so it was safe to open my eyes. I looked around and saw that there was a small night-light on in the corner of the room and I saw he had brought up a bottle of water and a few cookies on a plate on the bedside table next to me. I looked at the clock too. ’12:36’. “Wow I had been lying there a long time” I said to myself. Then I fell asleep.

Letting Love In-Ch39

Chapter 39:
We ate breakfast outside on the little patio behind the house. His back yard was small. There was a pool off to one side, above ground. Then there was a swing set to the other side. After we were done eating he did his chores while I took a shower. I was blow-drying my hair when he came into the bathroom. “How much longer do you need to get ready?” he yelled. I shut off the blow dryer. “Um… 20 minutes?” I half asked. “Hurry up. We have a big day today” he said, then turned and shut the door. “Whatever” I said to myself in the mirror, then continued to dry and straighten my hair.
I stepped out of the bathroom into the hallway and made my way to Sidney’s room to get my clothes. When I went into his room he was standing there holding something and staring blankly out the window. “Sid what are you doing?” I asked. “N-nothing” he said. He stood up quickly and whatever was in his hand disappeared. “Where are we going today?” I asked him. “I am showing you my home town” he said matter-of-factly. He smiled at me and I started rummaging through my suitcase.
I slipped on a grey-green tank top with a crème colored sleeveless vest. Then I put on a pair of dark wash jean capris. I grabbed a pair of crème heels that would match my vest but Sidney stopped me. “We are going to be walking today; heels are not the way to go” he said. So instead I took out a pair of hunter green flats and slipped them on. “Ready” I said standing up.
**
We got in his car, a silver Range Rover. “It’s new” he said when I asked him when he got it. We drove about 10 minutes down some side streets to the main part of the town. It was a main road that was filled with stores. He parallel parked the car with others in front of a set of stores. Then he put his hat on and pulled it down. He was actually not wearing anything from Rbk. I was surprised. He had on light wash jeans, a navy blue Abercrombie and Fitch shirt, and a tan baseball hat. He looked like any other 18 year old boy. He looked at me funny when he saw me looking him up and down. “Problem?” he asked. “No. I was just admiring how you look normal and aren’t all decked out in Reebok stuff. He laughed. “I can be normal. And hopefully not a lot of people will recognize me” he said. Then he opened the door and walked around to the sidewalk. “Let’s go” he said. He took my hand and we started walking down the street.
*
We went to about 10 stores so he could say hello to old friends. Then he took me to a park and we walked around and he showed me the statue him and his friend accidentally broke one time. I laughed at him. Then he showed me a bench where an old man used to sit everyday with his rosary beads praying for his wife to get better, she had cancer. Then we left the park and walked down to the harbor. He took me to a dock and told me how he was dared to jump in one summer with only boxers on, and he did it. Then he showed me where one of his friends stole a paddleboat and brought it to the middle of the harbor and flipped it over. I laughed again. “Were you ever caught?” I asked. “Nope” he said. I continued laughing.
We stopped at this little sand which shop for lunch. I went to sit down but he pulled me away. “No time to sit, we only have an hour left before we need to be home” he said. We walked down a side street with no houses and then he took a turn at a dirt path. The whole place was surrounded by trees. “Where are you taking me?” I asked him and stopped in the middle of the street. “Don’t worry Kay. It’s only like two minutes from here” he said and kept walking. I hurried along after him and laced my fingers with his as we walked. The trees thinned out and we came to the edge of the ‘forest’. I looked ahead and saw water. Then I saw a gazebo, like the one at home. Only it was smaller and looked like it was about to fall apart in the next big gust of wind.
We walked over to it and sat down inside. I looked out and saw that this place was surrounded by water and trees. “What is this?” I asked him. “This is my favorite place. Besides the rink” he added. “I came here all the time when I was a kid. I would just come and sit, watch the sunset and stuff. Mostly to think” he said. I smiled; this was just like what I used to do at home. I turned to him and kissed him on the cheek. We were more alike than I thought. After a few minutes he stood up, and then he froze in mid step. “It’s still here” he whispered. “What’s still here” I asked him standing up. “Nothing. We should get going” he said. I started to worry. He was acting very weird and when I reached for his hand he held it, but not like he usually did. Now his hand felt cold and loose around mine.
We walked in silence for a few minutes then, like he was shaken from a dream, Sidney’s hand became tighter around mine. He leaned over towards me and kissed my forehead. I was still worried though. “So do you like it here?” he asked. “I love it” I said, “Everyone is so nice. And they don’t mob you like the rest of the world.” “They know me as Sidney, the boy who lives down the street” he said. “And the kid that commits crimes but gets away with them” I said and half-laughed. He laughed too, “I’m not so innocent as you thought eh?” he asked. “No” I said.
By that time we were back into town, and were walking down the main road to the car. We got in and went back to Sidney’s house. “We aren’t sleeping here tonight” he said. “What?” I said and turned around to look at him. “Pack an overnight bag before dinner” he said and walked past me. I stood there dumbfounded as he went to the fridge and took out a bottle of water. He turned around and looked at me. “Trust me” he said, “We leave in 2 minutes to go get Tay.” He walked back down the hallway and disappeared into his room. Then a million thoughts came to my mind. “Are we going to be in the woods? Where are we going to sleep? We aren’t going to some party are we? What should I bring? Will there be a shower where we are going?” I was still standing in the same space when he came back down the hallway. “Hello? Earth to Kay?” he said and waved his hand in front of my face. “Where are you taking me?” I asked. “I can’t tell you that” he said, “Now let’s go.” He pulled me out the door and to the car.
“Are we going to a party?” I asked. “Nope.” “Will there be a bed for me to sleep in at this place?” “Yes” he said. “Is it just going to be us?” “Yes.” “How long will we be there?” “A day maybe.” “It’s not outdoors is it? Because if it is, you can go by yourself.” That got him to laugh. “No it isn’t, I know you better than that.” Just then we pulled up to a cul-de-sac where there were about 6 other cars parked. There were a mixture of mothers and fathers waiting for their kids. I went to open the door. But he stopped me. “Not a good idea” he said. “Why not?” I asked settling back down. “If you don’t want to get yelled at for accompanying a person who egged, toilet papered and maybe silly stringed their houses, then I suggest you not go out there” he said, in all seriousness. “What?!” I half yelled. “Hey I was thirteen, and I fell into peer pressure” he said. Then I laughed. “But how can they yell at you? You are Mr. Hockey Star, and that was like 5 years ago” I said. “Some people never let things go” he said. Then the bus pulled up.
A gaggle of kids exited the doors and Taylor looked around for the car. She spotted us and ran waving goodbye to the other kids. We brought her home and made an after-school snack of peanut butter and graham crackers. She made us watch TV with her until Trina got home. She asked Sidney what he wanted for dinner and he told her Chinese. Troy picked it up on the way home, and we ate. The Crosby’s must have known about Sidney’s plans of whisking me away to a mystery place for the night because after dinner she asked when we were leaving. “Well if Kay is ready soon we can leave in like 10 minutes” he said. I packed a small bag of overnight things in a Louis Vuttion bag and said goodbye to the family. “See you tomorrow night” we called and then went out to the car.
**
After about a 20 minute drive we pulled up at a house on the harbor that was off a dirt road. “Are we trespassing private property?” I asked. “No” he said and got out of the car. We walked up to the front door and the automatic light came on. “Who’s house is this?” I asked when he picked up a flowerpot and pulled a key out of the underside. He didn’t answer. He opened the door and put his hands on my lower back and pushed me into the house. It was dark inside, but a reflection of the setting sun was shining through the back French doors. He switched on a light and the foyer was illuminated.
It was big. There was a staircase right in front of me, it was all open and you could see the rooms on the second floor. The whole foyer had a cathedral ceiling. To my left there was a sitting room with hardly any furniture and to my right there was what looked like a guestroom and bathroom. He started to walk in front of me and down the open corridor. There was a door to my left, which I guessed was either a closet or a stairway to the basement, if there was a basement. There was a door to my right which I thought was a doorway out to the 2 car garage. The corridor led right into the kitchen. On the left of the kitchen was a doorway that led to the dining room. On the right was a big living room. There was a staircase on the right side of the living room that led to the upstairs. He walked over to the doors behind the kitchen table and slid the door open. We walked out onto a stone patio and looked down the property to see that it had its own dock and a small ‘beach’. I wouldn’t call it a beach though; it was more a piece of land that just happened to be sandy. There were about 4 trees scattered around the back yard, two had a hammock tied around the stumps, but the rest was surrounded by trees. He sat down on one of the all-weather couches on the patio. He reached for me and I sat down next to him. “Do you like it?” he asked. I nodded. “But who’s is it?” I asked. He smiled, “Mine.” “Are you serious?” I squealed. “Yes. I bought it around the beginning of December” he said nonchalantly. “And you didn’t tell me” I said, a little angrily. “I love surprising you” he said. My anger melted away as he stood up and pulled me to follow him into the house.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Letting Love In-Ch38

Chapter 38:
He disappeared into a doorway at the end of the hallway. “This is my room” he said and sat down on his bed. I watched him look around and sigh, then lay back on his bed. I closed the door behind me and walked to him. I sat down next to him and looked around. His walls were painted blue, but you could barely see the color from all the hockey memorabilia and pictures hanging on them. After a few minutes of silence I turned to him, and then I looked at the clock. “Taylor’s movie should be on soon” I said. He sat up and told me I should get changed before the movie starts. I agreed and opened my suitcase. I took out a pair of Ralph Lauren pajama pants and a t-shirt. I turned around to see Sidney sitting on his bed again in his pajamas. I quickly changed and grabbed his hand. I pulled him off the bed and kissed him softly. He kissed back and his hands came around my waist. I nuzzled into his chest as he pulled me into a hug. “I love it here” I said. “Glad you like it” he said. He kissed my forehead and grabbed a blanket off of his bed. “She will be waiting” he said. And we walked out of his room.
Taylor was sitting on a big cushion with a bowl of popcorn on her lap on the floor. She had another cushion next to her, and that’s where Sidney sat. I sat behind them on the couch. I snuggled into the corner of the plush couch and quickly realized how tired I was. The movie started and Taylor squealed with delight. She had a huge crush on one of the main characters and whenever he would come on the screen Sidney would start talking, very loudly. She threw popcorn at him and told him to shut up or she would tell me all the stuff about his old girlfriends. I laughed when Sidney shut up, then I became a little suspicious. I shrugged it off and got lost in my thoughts about his family. My hand drifted to the edge of the couch and brushed Sid’s shoulder. I was taken out of my thoughts when I felt his hand squeeze mine. He turned around and smiled at me, I smiled back. The rest of the time I watched Taylor, and how she adored everything he did.
*
Soon enough the movie ended. Taylor fell asleep and Sidney carried her to her room to put her to bed. When he came back in the living room he had a concerned look on his face. “I swear there weren’t any other girls” he gushed. “I don’t care Sidney” I said matter-of-factly. Then I stood up and we walked down the hallway. “Sleep in here” he said pointing to his bed. “But it’s your bed, and you haven’t been home in so long” I protested. “I want you to sleep well” he said, and then he picked me up and put me on the bed. “Fine” I said, “But if you blame me for not sleeping well, I’ll hurt you” I said. Then I pulled back the covers and climbed in. He covered me up like I was a three year old. “I love you baby” he said. He kissed my cheek. When he went to stand up I pulled him down on me. I kissed him on the lips and our tongues fought for possession. He pulled away, “If you are going to start that, I’ll never leave.” I laughed and he brushed his thumb over my cheek. I leaned into his hand and smiled. It all felt so right, I was finally happy. He got up and walked to the door. “Sweet dreams” he said. Then he turned off the light and slowly closed the door.
I rolled over into the sheets. They smelt like him. It felt like home in his room. The light shining in from the window illuminated a picture of him and his family. I smiled when I looked at it. I could picture a happy family like that with myself in it. “I really love him” I said. Sleep hooded my eyes, and I felt like I was wrapped in Sidney. I breathed in his scent once more, and quickly fell asleep.
**
I woke up around 9:00. I looked in the mirror and thankfully I didn’t look like the monster I usually do. I smoothed out my hair and rinsed out my mouth. I softly opened the door and stepped into the hallway. I walked into the kitchen expecting the family to be sitting at the table, or in front of the TV, but there was no one there. I looked and there was a note on the counter.
Sid- Me and dad still have to work today. Tay is at school. Please get her off the bus around 3. I will be home between 4:30 and 5. Dad will be home later tonight. Decide what you want for dinner, its takeout night. It’s your turn to empty the dishwasher. Love you, Mom.
I smiled when I read that he has to do chores. Then I walked down the hall to the staircase. I walked down the stairs and the first thing I saw was a white floor with red and blue lines. Then slowly the mattress appeared and I saw Sid sleeping like a child. I walked over to the bed and sat down next to him. I gently shook him, he didn’t move. I said his name, no movement. He was already on his back, so I climbed on top of him and decided to have some fun.
I kissed his neck and collar bone and then the tip of his nose and his cheek. He still didn’t move. I put more of my weight on his legs and kissed his lips softly. I kept kissing him until he stirred and realized what was going on. He began to kiss back and his eyes opened. I pulled away. “Finally!” I said, “It only took me like ten minutes to wake you up!” “You could have done it the normal way!” he cried and tried to roll over. I pinned him down, which was hard considering how strong he was. “But that wouldn’t be any fun now would it?” I asked. “Of course not. But I know something fun! Let me go back to sleep.” He shut his eyes tight and I opened the shades at the top of the room. “Sucks for you. The sun is on the other side of the house in the morning” he laughed. I felt defeated. I stood up and ripped his blankets off. “Get up” I demanded. “Why?” “Because it is your turn to empty the dishwasher.” I laughed and put my hands on my hips, trying to look like I held authority. He groaned and then reached up to me. “5 minutes with you. Please, I didn’t get to be with you all night. I’m dying here” he said. He grabbed my hand and pulled me down to him. I surrendered into his touch, like I always did. He pulled me close and I reached for a blanket. I let him hold me for a while, and while this was going on I realized how much I would miss him next year.
After a while I got up. Sidney had fallen back to sleep. I shook him and he finally got up. We went upstairs and he took out a bowl. He poured himself some cereal and I stood there and looked at him. “What no breakfast for me?” I asked. He looked at me and then turned to the fridge. He took out a yogurt and a bowl of fresh berries. “For you” he said and pushed them towards me, “I told Mom that your favorite thing is yogurt and berries. So she went out and bought some. I cut them up last night.” “Really now?” I asked him. “Yeah, but the knife slipped and I cut my finger” he said and looked at his finger with a frown. I stifled a giggle. “You didn’t bleed on my strawberries did you?” I asked. “No” he said rolling his eyes. I took his hand in mine and kissed his finger. “All better” I said like he was a 3 year old child. He pulled me into him and cupped my face in his hands. “What would I do without you?” he said. “Not cut yourself with a knife” I said. He chuckled and his lips crashed down on mine.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Letting Love In-Ch37

Chapter 37:
For most of the plane ride, I had been reading a book and Sidney had been listening to his iPod. I had argued with him over getting the window seat, and with the use of my puppy dog eyes he finally agreed. I put my book down and just stared out the window. There wasn’t much to see, it was just mostly blue sky and the occasional white mist of a cloud. After what I guessed was a few minutes Sidney’s hand reached mine. He smiled at me warmly and I squeezed his hand. I turned back to look out the window and I felt the bad of his thumb rubbing my palm. I closed my eyes and soon awoke to Sidney gently shaking me.
“We’re landing in a few minutes” he said quietly. I nodded and put all of my things back into my Coach tote bag. I smoothed out my shirt and folded my hands into my lap. I looked down and noticed they had begun to shake. Sidney noticed this, “What’s wrong baby?” he asked. “N-nothing” I lied. I was nervous to see his family again. I don’t know why I was, they had liked me the first time the met me. I think I was more scared be at his home, under the full watch of his family. I didn’t want to disappoint him. “There’s nothing to worry about” he said softly, and tucked my hair behind my ear.
*
At the luggage claim we saw his dad standing in a sea of people looking over the crowd to see us. Sidney had his hat pulled down low and kept his head down, so I was the first one to spot his dad. I took Sidney’s arm after he picked up his bag and my two suitcases. “What the hell did you pack?” he asked frustrated when he realized how heavy one of my suitcases was. “Well I think that one has mostly shoes” I said. “Of course” he muttered. I pulled him along until we met his dad. “Hey dad” Sidney said sticking his arm out to shake his hand. “Hi Troy” I said in a fake happy voice and when I hugged him I looked over his shoulder at Sidney and he rolled his eyes. I scowled at him and then his dad suggested we go before anyone realized who he was.
We got into Troy’s SUV. At first there was an awkward silence, Sidney realized it and broke it. “So where are mom and Taylor?” he asked his father. “Their getting dinner ready and stuff” he said. “Your mom made grilled chicken and vegetables.” “Nice” Sidney said. Soon enough we arrived at his home. His dad took one of my suitcases, and I told him I could handle the other one. “Well” Sidney sighed shutting the door, “This is home. I imagine my mother will not allow me to sleep even in the same hallway as you, so she probably set up a bed in the basement. If you want you can sleep in my room. You will be more comfortable.” I told him I’d see but we really should get into that house before I die of starvation. “Such a drama queen” he said. I shoved him a bit and we entered the house laughing.
“Sidney!” his mother screeched happily while running to hug him. “Kay, hello! How was your flight?” she asked. “It was good. Like any other plane ride” Sidney said. Just then Taylor came running down the hallway. “Sid!” she yelled and he picked her up hugging her. “Hey Tay! Miss me?” he said. Seeing how he acted around his sister, with such love, made my heart melt and a big smile grew on my face. He put her down and turned to me. “Taylor, this is Kay. Kay this is Taylor” he said. She was about 10 inches shorter than me, and cute as a button. I bent down so we were face to face. “It’s nice to meet you Taylor. I love that drawing you did of Sidney and I, it is really beautiful” I said. “Thanks” she replied, “It’s nice to meet the girl my brother hasn’t stopped talking about since he met you.” I smiled and looking at Sidney. He was standing with his hands in his pockets with a content smile on his face. Trina called us in for dinner and Taylor went running into the dining room. I started to follow her, but I felt Sidney’s hands on my waist. He spun me around and gave me a kiss on the lips. “I didn’t talk about you all the time” he said. I laughed, “Sure you didn’t.” He gave my hand a quick squeeze and then walked in front of me to the dining room.
*
Dinner went very well. The food was delicious. It was nice to taste a real home cooked meal cooked by a hard working mother. I sat across from Sidney and he sat next to Taylor. His listened to her carefully as she described almost everything that happened to her at school that year. “This one boy named Tommy wrote me a love note” she said. “Where does he live? I’m going to have to kick his butt!” Sidney said. This got me and Trina laughing. Dinner ended and Trina insisted that she and Troy clean up. Taylor was ordered to the shower, and she obeyed, but only asking Sidney if they could watch some Disney channel movie together tonight. He agreed and she went off squealing in delight. “Come on Kay” he took my hand, “Let me show you around.”
He pulled me down the hallway. “Tay’s room, parent’s room, and bathroom” he pointed out. This reminded me of our first night together. My mind drifted back as I remembered how his body was so new to me. How I didn’t love him then, but I knew that I would. I remembered how he first looked at me. I remember how he had been nervous, but trying not to show it. I closed my eyes briefly and saw his calm smile behind my eyes. I was snapped out of my thoughts when he said my name louder. “Kay. What are you doing?” I looked around and noticed he was down the hall and I was facing the wall all by myself. “Oh nothing” I said, mentally smacked myself for daydreaming and ran after him.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Letting Love In-Ch36

Chapter 36:
Time had passed and he only had two games left in the season. Ever since he realized he wasn’t in the playoffs, his mood was horrible. He would occasionally slam things and when I would mention anything about hockey his jaw would lock and he would just glare at me. I shrugged it off. I knew it would eventually pass. And it did.
He was sitting at his bar counter in the kitchen one night eating some horrible looking healthy yogurt snack. I walked into the kitchen with Dot in my arms. I went to the other side of the counter and stood in front of him. He looked up at me and I thought I saw a smile. I put the envelope with the plane tickets on the counter and slid it slowly towards him. I put on a small fake smile and watched him glare daggers at the envelope. With one hand he opened it and looked inside. He let out a sigh when he saw the tickets, his eyes closed. Without words he stood up and walked over to me. He took Dot away from me and stroked his head before putting him down. I watched Dot scamper into the living room and I while I wasn’t paying attention Sidney pulled me close and kissed my lips softly. I smiled into the kiss and I could feel my heartbeat in my throat. “I’m sorry babe” he whispered into my ear. I told him I understood and kissed him on the cheek. Then he let me go and walked over to the fridge.
He pulled out a carton of Ben and Jerry’s Fossil Fuel ice cream and put it on the counter next to his yogurt. He motioned his head to the chair next to his and I went and sat down. He handed me a spoon and sat back down next to me. “I think I want to leave the day I clean out my stall” he said looking forward. “Alright” I said. I knew it was best not to argue with him. He was done with his thing now and was staring at me. “Something wrong?” I asked. “Well are you going to share that or just eat the whole thing?” he said, his smile was coming out now. I laughed and scooped some out with my finger. I held it out to him. He took it in his mouth and sucked on it. “That is some good ice cream” he said when he let go. I laughed again and he kissed me. That night was very interesting.
***
They won the last game. There was a positive buzz throughout the box, but there was still a small wave of disappointment because they weren’t in the playoffs. I went down to the locker room and sat in my usual spot on a chair in the hallway opposite the first dressing room. I saw a bunch of media people standing around and thought that it might be a long night. But most of the players left in a hurry and then the media quickly drained out. I overheard them saying that they were coming back the next day for longer interviews. I was busy on my Blackberry when I realized there was silence all around me.
I looked up to see that Sidney was just sitting down at his stall. He was right in front of me… only 25 feet away. I sat there looking at him for a few minutes. Then he looked up and saw me, a big smile grew on his face. I walked into the locker room and closed the door. “Well hello there” he said slipping on his blazer jacket. I kissed him on the lips and he pulled away. “Come on baby, let’s go home” he said. He put his arm around me and pulled me in close. We walked down the dark corridor and he gently kissed my forehead. I smiled and fell in love all over again.
The car ride was pretty quiet. His hand was in mine and he was absentmindedly stroking the top of my hand with his thumb. “How much should I pack for going home” I said looking up at him. “Well knowing you, you are going to bring every stitch of clothing you have” he said laughing, “But enough for a week I guess. I have to come back here on the 28th or something for a Reebok thing.” “Alright. But one week your clothes is like 2 weeks mine” I said. He laughed and agreed.
We got home and went up to his room. He threw me a long sleeved t-shirt and a pair of flannel shorts. He had just laid down when I went into the bathroom to wash up, but when I came out he had fallen asleep. When I sat down on the bed his eyes opened. “Sorry to wake you” I whispered touching his arm lightly. He smiled, “It’s alright.” I laid down facing him and I snuggled in close. I felt his arm around my waist and his fingers were playing with the shirt on my lower back. “I love you” I whispered. But I didn’t get a reply; he was already back sound asleep.
*
It was around 2:00 and I was storming around my room in a pair of boy short lace panties and a matching bra. I knew I had put my travel clothes out. It was a purple/blue Juicy sweat suit. All that was in my room was my bra and panties. “I know I put it out here” I screeched out loud staring at my closet. “Looking for these?” I heard a voice behind me. Sidney was sitting on my bed holding the sweatshirt pants and matching t-shirt in his hands. He started laughing when he saw my facial expression. I ran towards him and when I went to grab my clothes he stood up and held them over his head. I am not that tall at all, just over 5’3, so him being 5’11 is really not fair to me at all.
I jumped once for them, and then I realized I was only wearing a matching set of lingerie. He was laughing at me and mocking me. He would drop them down to my level then pick them back up, go from side to side and then back up and down. I took a step back from him and shrugged. “I guess I’ll just have to go on the plane like this” I said and I brushed my hands over my sides. I watched his gaze go up and down over me. I twirled around, “Don’t you think all the other boys on the plane will want me as bad as you do?” His gaze met mine again and I walked towards him. He pulled me into a kiss and caressed my lower back with his free hand. When I moved myself closer to him he dropped the clothes onto the bed. I turned around still in the kiss so I was the one closest to the bed. Slowly I picked up my clothes and pulled out of the kiss. Laughing I held the clothes to my chest and said “Sucker”. He laughed, I put my clothes on and then we got everything done and headed to the airport.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Letting Love In-Ch35

Chapter 35:
“The first star of the game, Sidney Crosby. His three assists and pair of goals led the Penguins to their 5-0 shutout of the Rangers” the announcer said. He skated out on the ice and spun around. Before stepping back off the ice he whirled around to face the direction of our box. He pointed his stick up at us and I swear he winked at me. I smile spread across my face. I knew that was for me.
**
“Good game guys” I said to each player that walked out of the locker room. I received hugs, high fives and hollers from each group of players. I was playing a game on my BlackBerry when the big group of media folk exited the locker room and went down the hallway. I figured it was all clear, so I picked up my purse and went in. Sidney was sitting in his stall with only his pants and shoes on. His head jolted up when he heard the door click shut.
I walked over to him and sat down next to him. “Was that enough points for you?” he asked. “Yeah” I said looking up at him. He smiled down at me and kissed my forehead. “Well I know it seems like I just got back, but we’re flying out to New York tonight. I shrugged, “It’s alright. I understand. It’s not like I have to tell you not to go.” He nodded. “I never gave this to you” he said and pulled out an envelope from the top of his bag. He handed it to me with a smile. It’s from Taylor. I opened the envelope and took out a piece of construction paper. “She made it in art class. The assignment was to make a portrait of a sibling, but she decided to keep you in it because I must love you a lot because I don’t call her much anymore” he said putting his shirt and tie on loosely.
It was a picture of Sidney and I. I’m not sure where it was from; Christmas maybe, anyway it was black and white with red and pink paper hearts cut out around it. It was adorable. “Keep it here” I said and put it on the top of his stall. “Alright” he said. Then he looked down. “I have to go now” he said. “Oh Sid, how am I going to live without you for 36 hours?” I whined dramatically, partly kidding. He playfully hit me on the shoulder and pulled me into a hug. I kissed his chest were his shirt wasn’t and I felt the goose bumps rise to his skin. “Don’t start now” he moaned. I snickered and kept kissing his neck. He tilted my chin up and kissed me hard. My stomach was filled with butterflies and I could feel my knees weakening with every brush of his lips.
“I really have to go” he said after pulling away from me, funny how he could only stay away for a millisecond. His lips were on mine again. I dropped my purse as he pulled me closer. His hands were working all over my body. He caressed my thigh and I shuddered with pleasure. He pulled away and looked at his watch, “10 minutes” he breathed. Then he took my hand and led me down a hallway. “This is going to have to do” he said pushing me into an equipment room. “This isn’t very romantic” I said as he forcefully took off my sweater. “I don’t care” he said, “9 minutes, times wasting.” I laughed and he pulled me close.
My jeans were off. His pants were down. He had me pinned on the floor. Being the gentleman that he is, he put down a clean towel first. I let him have his way with me. Two fingers were in and another was forcefully pressing on my clit. I was biting his shoulder to keep quiet while he was kissing my neck. He ripped his hand out of me and then entered me. There was no mercy. I was silently screaming in pleasure listening to the sound of skin slapping skin. My nails were digging in his back, and I was pulling him closer to me. Soon enough, I felt him shudder and his head rolled back, eyes closed tight. He was panting when his orgasm subsided. I was wrong when I thought he was done with me. His fingers went hard and fast inside and he kept rolling my clit, waiting for me to be taken over the edge. “Come on, come on” he muttered picking up the pace. He traced his tongue across my shoulder and my back started to arch. I was gone. I probably screamed, very very loudly. When I could hear again, he was laughing. “I love watching you do that” he said.
He had thrown his clothes back on, helping me to pull up my jeans as I buttoned his shirt. Then after a kiss he ran down the hallway. “I love you” he called. I went back into the locker room and picked up my purse. I walked to the car and Kevin and he drove me home.

***

I wasn’t awake until around 10:00. I decided to go to the grocery store for Amanda and Nancy. I had nothing else to do, and I had to get more food for Dot anyway. It took me a good hour to pick out all the food for the week’s meals and while at the register with Kevin, my BlackBerry began to ring. ‘Sidney’ the caller ID said. I picked up the phone:
“Hello” I said. “Hi. What are you up to right now?” “I’m actually at the grocery store with Kevin. I figured I’d do Nancy and Amanda a favor, they really need to relax.” “Wait. You are actually at the grocery store? That is the one store I could never picture you in.” He was laughing, but I really didn’t appreciate his humor. “Ha-ha, you are so funny. I only came here to buy raw meat that I could put all over your bed” I said. His laughter stopped. “You would never. For two reasons” he said. “And those are?” “One, you don’t have the balls to do that. Two, you know I wouldn’t clean it up before I took complete advantage of you.” I gasped. The cashier gave me a funny look, I think my phone volume was turned up a little too high. “Um… I’ve got to go. Call me later” I said, I could feel the heat growing on my face. “Cashier heard eh?” he said. “Well I hope they hear this too. I am in love with the most beautiful girl in the world” he yelled. “Aw, that is sweet. But I don’t think you should be referring to Colby as a girl, he might get a little angry” I said. His sigh was all I heard before I hung up.

****
I was home alone by myself. My parents and aunt had to bring my cousins and brother to some “Family Spring Dance” at their school. I said ‘hell no’ to that invitation and happily stayed home by myself. 7:00 rolled around and I was sitting on my bed with a bowl of popcorn wearing Sidney’s shirt and sweatpants. I was cheering the whole time. I felt like such an idiot. Here is this girl, in an empty house, screaming at the TV.
I was around the 12th minute played when he got hit. The camera showed him getting hit, but then it followed the puck down to the other end. The whistle was called a few seconds after that. He was still on the ground. My heart was sinking and I was yelling. “Get up Sid! Shit. Shit. Get up babe! Be a man!” He slowly got up and was escorted down to the dressing room. During first intermission the stupid lady reporter said that he was resting an ‘unknown injury’. I called bullshit on that quickly. He came back for a few minutes in the second, I felt a lot better. But then he left again and I felt really worried. He really isn’t the guy to skip out because of a bruise. At the end of the 2nd intermission the lady announced he had a ‘lower body injury’. “Shit” I yelled.
I spent the rest of the game wondering what could be wrong. His knee could be hurt, ankle, foot. Or worse, he could have hurt his member. That would suck… I was planning on having a few hot kids. Anyway... they lost the game. It sucked. The whole night sucked. I tried to fall asleep knowing that he would be alright. I clutched my BlackBerry in my hand under my chin, just in case he called.
He didn’t call. Instead he showed up around 3:00 in my room. He kissed my cheek gently and I woke up. “What happened? Are you alright?” I said sitting up. I saw he was shirtless and had a bag of ice on his shoulder. “I’m fine” he said taking my head in his hands. “I just got hit and my shoulder popped. Now I didn’t mean to wake you, so go back to sleep.” He was running over my cheek with the pad of his thumb. “But I don’t want you to stay awake all by yourself when you’re in pain” I mumbled, I was still half asleep. “I’ll be fine” he said. He lay down next to me and I made sure to be gentle while putting my head on his chest. He bent down and kissed my forehead. His steady heartbeat and breathing lulled me to sleep.

*

I woke up and he was awake. The TV was on, but the volume was barely audible. I sat up and looked at him. He looked tired. “Did you sleep at all?” I asked rubbing my eyes. “Yeah, I slept until about 6:00.” I looked at the clock, it was 8. “Why didn’t you get up?” I asked. “Didn’t want to wake you” he said staring at the TV. “How are you feeling?” He reached over and kissed me. “Better now”, he waggled his eyebrows and smiled a goofy grin at me. I hit him in his good arm. “It is really cruel to hit a cripple” he whined. I stuck my tongue out at him and he did the same. “Come on crip, let’s go take a shower” I said getting off the bed and pulling him to follow me.

I took out two towels from the closet and Sid made the familiar trip down the hall to the bathroom. I put the towels on the warmer and turned to face Sidney. He was trying to take off the wrap that was around his shoulder. I stood and front of him. “Let me do it” I said. He nodded and stopped trying. I carefully peeled off the plastic and took out the bag full of ice, well now it was warm water. There was a huge bruise on his shoulder. I winced just looking at it. “Nice. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be” he said. “What?” I said in disbelief. He shrugged and reached for my shirt. I started the water, stripped and got in the shower.